How do you know if you are grieving? What is grief? Grief is the response of the mind, feelings, body, and spirit to loss. What is loss? Loss is separation from persons, things, places, or circumstances that we value. When someone says, “I’m sorry for your loss,” they often mean they are sad that we have experienced the death of a loved one.
Horrible loss is being experienced by the Dublin City Schools family and the entire community due to the deaths of Dr. Jaroy Stuckey, his wife, Elysea, three-year-old son A. J., and their unborn daughter, due in May. The horror is compounded by the nature of the deaths in a multi-vehicle highway crash and fire. This family was highly valued not only because of their contribution to the community but who they were as persons.
Dr. Fred Williams, Superintendent, Dublin City Schools, said he related to Dr. Stuckey as a mentor and as a father figure. He respected the young principal as a Christian. He also said he would have liked Dr. Stuckey to someday succeed him as schools superintendent. I understand that Dr. Stuckey greeted students as they arrived at school each morning. Friends described him as a warm, personable, caring, and capable leader.
Loss is real. It comes to each of us. Now it has come to an entire school family of teachers, students, families, staff, administrators, and neighboring schools. Grief, our response to loss, is natural and normal. Grief expresses itself in many ways. Physical symptoms, mental and emotional stress, and spiritual questions all find their way into the mix. In such a loss as this one that impacts the community so deeply, it is helpful to grieve as a community.
Talking through our feelings, listening to others talk through theirs, and even crying together all have their place in grieving. Electronic communications and sensible practice of pandemic precautions can provide for the sharing of grief. Grief is a process and not an event. Working through it takes time, and doing it together is helpful.
Friends, families, school authorities, fellow workers, pastors, and professionals are sources for grief support. Take care of yourself by getting the help you need. You may find that by getting help for yourself, you can help someone else. A key to grieving is to find ways to express your grief that do not harm others or yourself.
And finally, if you have a trusted friend or family member who can let you say anything you need to say without judging you, you have found a priceless treasure!
Words and People 