How much of what you say to some particular person serves to tear that person down rather than build them up? How much of what you say, generally, could be classified as whining, complaining, or critical of someone else? Does what you say, and how you say it, identify you as an unhappy person? If so, you are not alone.
A Bible verse I learned from my mother at a very young age speaks to how we speak to others. “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” That’s the King James Version of 1611. Today, we might say, “a gentle answer avoids triggering anger, but you can make someone mad by speaking to them harshly.”
Speaking harshly and being spoken to that way do not build satisfying relationships. It is stressful to constantly cringe inside in anticipation that someone is going to speak to us in a critical manner. We should remember others feel the same way. Working together to build the relationship is more productive.
Two basic principles are somewhere down in my bag of tools for communicating with others. It may be kind of late to dig them out, but who knows how long I might yet have to practice them. If there are only 24 hours, it will be better to build others up during those 24 hours than to use that same 24 hours to tear them down.
The principles? (1) The Golden Rule, which says to treat others as I want to be treated, and (2) The Great Commandment, which says that I am to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength–and my neighbor as myself.
If I ask God to imprint those principles upon my inner being, I might not need to say, “I’m sorry I said that,” quite as often.
Words and People 
Thank you for your leadership, care, and concern.
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Your thoughtful comment is encouraging. Thank you for taking the time to offer it.
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